Wednesday, August 11, 2010

Congratulations Ole' Savior

With 99% of the Primary vote in, I would like to congratulate Ole' Savior, Minnesota's imminent political Messiah, on attracting over 4,000 votes in the Republic primary.

According to his official bio, Savior was inspired by Ronald Regan's campaign, although he is a lifelong DFL-er. He claims to have left the DFL Party recently (check out the 2010 DFL convention podium) on good terms.

Savior ran on a platform that included:
  • suing oil companies for increased gas prices
  • A new Vikings stadium to be financed 25% by the Vikings, 25% by NFL and 50% by "Racino" at Canterbury Downs
  • A balanced budget--but not at the expense of the elderly or existing entitlement programs
  • Opening the State Fair year round--like Disney Land
While criticisms of GOP front-runner Tom Emmer raged that he had not got a strong endorsement of gun-owners or church goers, Savior boasts the endorsements of John Dillion III, Kevin Shultz, and Lee Murphy, who may very well be gun-owning church goers.

No word remains on whether Savior and his Lt. Governor of choice, Todd "Elvis" Anderson, will fight to remain on the ballot in November despite their loss in the primary. Take your time to decide Ole'; as Elvis sang, only fools rush in.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Ole Savior now has more imminent battles to fight, like making sure his Wikipedia article
doesn't get deleted