Wrong Number?

I am not sure why, but I receive a lot of calls with wrong numbers on my cell phone. Five minutes ago I just received a text from a local number asking "can I go tomorrow so I can set an alarm or not cause I'm tired!!!" I have no idea who this is from, and I have no idea what event is going on tomorrow. Last Thursday or Friday night a girl called me up at around 6 o'clock and asked "this is Pizza Hut right?" I told her it was not and she quickly hung up.

For a while there was an elder man who would call me every month or so from a 210 (San Antonio,TX) area code. Each time he called he would speak to me in what seemed to be a tonal Asian language (I am guessing Hmong, it didn't sound Chinese or Vietnamese). I tried to respond to him in Mandarin each time, hoping that he was some contact form the mission. He wouldn't respond to my ni hao's or qingwen's so then I would try to ask him in English how he got this number. From his lack of response to my English questions, I infer that he didn't speak English. So I was unable to find out how he got my number, and why he persisted in calling me month after month.

My favorite random caller happened last August. I received several calls from a man with what sounded like a Middle Eastern accent. He claimed to be from somewhere in the Arab world and for all I know he was. He had somehow mistaken me for a one "Madame Amima." (Amima may not be spelled correctly, I spelt it pout phonetically, he never spelt it out for me). Apparently, he was under the impression that my cell phone number was the number for some escort service on the East Coast.

In the first message to my voicemail he explained that someone back home had recommended the Madame's services to him and gave my number to him. The first message left me shocked at his forwardness on a voicemale that introduces itself as "Nate Reid's voicemail", but grateful for the laughs provided at his expense. However, the fun didn't stop there. I soon recieved other messages. He started calling while I was at work. He called 8 times in one day, leaving messages of the same every time. Each one expressing praise for the quality of Madame Amima's serivces (he never was explicit in what these services entailed). Finally, he called when I was able to talk to him. I tried to explain that I had no idea who this madame was nor how he found my cell number. If I figured this confrontation would stop him I was wrong. He continued to call and leave more messages. After a couple more days, and no returned calls he finally gave up. Leaving me somewhat confused by the whole ordeal, but pleased w/ the akward situation.

I have no idea why I get so many calls from so many different people for so many different reasons. I am starting to wonder if I am schizophrenic. Maybe I have several alter-egos that pose as Madam Amima, Pizza Hut employess and an elderly Laotian man. It could also be that I am on some TV like the Truman Show where everyone knows what's going on but me. There is also the possiblity that I have unknowingly entered the Twilight Zone. As I serach for the meaning of all this, although the above all seem like possible answers, I am persuaded that these random phone calls and text are corraborative evidence of my long held belief that I truly am the center of the universe.